with love for Mars to StrawbAshes;)

Ash...
im writin tiz jus so ppl noe wat
a great fren u r...
i noe i cud jus post it 2 u..
but then ppl wudnt get 2 read it
wud they?
but dnt worry...
ill post u sumthin 2
just hold on ya...
here it goes...

p.s: love tat pic u post 2 me... n the song 2... im learning d song now.. yea, im singing along..hahahahaha.. anyway.. back 2 d objective of this blog..

ASHREEN NORMAN.

i knew u so long yet
tiz frenship took awhile..
ive had so many best frens..
jus tat non of them were like u..
non of them stayed tiz long..

u understood everythin i said..
u got all my unlikely jokes..
u loved everythin i said..
n u wud want 2 hear more all the time..
people wnt stand how muc i talk...
u wish i nvr stopped.

u noe wat im gonna say..
u noe wat im thinkin..
u noe wat im feeling..
n u noe jus how make me happy, annoyed or sad..
most of the time..
u enjoyed makin me happy.

u complete my sentences..
u can c wats comin next..
u say tat im unpredictable..
but u predict me well all the time.

we think alike..
n tat makes it so fun 2 b wit u..
u let me be myself..
u bring out the best of me..
im at my best around u...
coz tats how comfortable u make me feel..

v r so alike yet so apart..
two worlds of a kind yet so similar in so many ways
v can talk n talk n laugh n laugh
at the top of our voices n at d end
dnt even remember wat it was about..
bcoz tats us...
v enjoy every sentence in our conversations
tat its so hard 2 end 1..

v hav our own marvel comic..
v hav our own novels..
v hav our own magazine..
v hav our own encyclopedias..
v hav our own dictionary..
its like our frenship has every element of everything.

to me..
ur so creative..
so intelligent..
so beautiful..
so strong..
so kind..
so cute..
so talented..
so....
PERFECT.

weneva i hav sumthin 2 say..
u listen wit excitement.
weneva wanna do sumthin..
u cheer wit pom poms 4 me..
weneva i m hungry.
u nvr cease 2 tell me wat ur mum is cookin or wat u ate.. (i hate u)
weneva sumthin happens...
u react positively..
weneva i m sad or down..
u hug me 2 neutralise it wit encouragement n hope..
2 achieve courage equilibrium...hahahahha (NE-NE-NERD!)

with u.. i can be whoeva i wanna b..
a princess...
a bimbo..
a hot guy..
sum BM A1 freak..
a narcissist..
a kiddo..
an annoyin specimen..
u can tolerate it all.

who knew tat i wud hav such a special fren..
who is almost like a sister..
a twin perhaps?
no... my other half.
ur totally God's blessing 2 me..
the best i can eva hav.

there is alot more i hav 2 express..
n jus bloggin alone wnt help abit..
its jus amazing how u make me feel..
how im so significant around u.
nothing ppl say matters..
wit u its always a yesh..
u wud do anythin 4 me..
wit u i can do anythin..
how crazy it cud be..
it wudnt embarrase me abit if im wit u..
u hav tat sumthin special tat makes me
live my live just like a child..
no wondering where it wud lead..
jus curious 4 the feeling it brings..
i mite not noe wat a real frenship is like..
but im preety sure
i noe it now.

THANK YOU FOR THIS LIFE-LONG FEELING!

confessions to StrawbAshes

dear Ash,

adinda ingin memohon ampun dan maaf sebelum adinda meneruskan confession ini adinda tidak sesekali pun teringin untuk melukai kakanda atau persahabat yang akrab ini janganlah kakanda beranggapan dan menyoal kesetiaan adinda terhadap kakanda ingin sekali adinda berdampingan dengan kakanda dan ber-u noe wat bersama-sama walau bagaimanpun, keadaan tidak mengizinkan adinda ber-u noe wat panjang-panjang di telefon mahupun isyarat api dengan ini... adinda ingin ber-confess segala-galanya yang telah adinda lakukan dan yang harus kakanda mengetahui terlebih dahulu.

Ash u noe wat.... im not single anymore... im with a guy name Andrew who is also my x in the previous age... yesh... my decisions may not be the rite one.. but sumhow... im falling 4 him.. 2 noe wat he was like b4... n 2 noe wat he is like now is seriously amazing... he has change alot... n definately he has won my heart... its not tat he is so great or sumthin.. its jus tat i love bein around tiz new Andrew... its jus tiz sumthin bout him tat was hidden frm me b4 n now has unleashed itself... n i dnt wanna mish anythin of him... im sorry ive nvr told u anythin bout it... i m sincerely sorry... i noe i shud hav... but i was in d state where i didnt noe wat was goin on wit me... even if i did... i didnt noe how 2 put it into words.... s 4 gud old Melvin.. hmm.. lets jus say he wud remain s my best boyfren eva... n tat our relationship was my living fairy-tale... perhaps it sounds crazy tat i hav feelings 4 2 ppl... but the thing is... i wanna move on... i dnt 1 2 swim n wallow in my past any longer... 4 all u noe.... i dnt love Melvin anymore... i jus think i do... but wateva it is... there has been alot tat happened regarding Melvin tat i nvr told u... well actually i dint but everytime i called 2 tell u.. it jus wasnt a rite time 2 talk... so i tot perhaps i wud tell her sum other time... anyway... one of those inccidents r....

it was on 18th March...
i sumhow got possesed or sumthin...
i jus wanted 2 msg Melvin...
so i got the num frm Jeff...
Jeff got his num bcoz lately
Melvin has been talking 2 my guy frens lately
it seems weird coz since v broke up...
he avoided me all of them...
jus occasionally he wud talk 2 them la..
tat 1 aso he wud try 2 make it short...
anyway...
back 2 wat happened...
ok...
at tat time...
i was jus so i dnt noe...
i noe it wasnt d rite thing 2 do but i wanted 2 do it so badly...
i even made Jeff tell me 2 do jus so i feel bold 2 do it..
i knew wat mite happen...
i knew where it wud end...
but i jus wanted 2 do it so badly tat i cud die if i didnt..
it was like tat time wen i wanted 2 send him d email...remember?
ya so...
i took his num..
i didnt save it tho..
i jus wrote it on 1 of d past years spm papers... very significant huh?
ahahhahahahahahha
anyway...
ok u noe wat...
at tiz time..
i was like praying n prayin n prayin...
i didnt really noe wat i was prayin 4 but i prayed...
ok i took a deep breathe n typed...
MARS: hey melvin...
n i prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed i dnt noe 4 wat again...
then i received a msg n b4 opening it...
i prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed...
i took a deep breathe... cudnt stop smiling...
i read it... he said...
MELVIN:Urm who is tis?
n i was soo freakin happy n i prayed n prayed again
n i said...
MARS: marion
n i prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed...
seriously i didnt noe wat i was prayin 4
i was jus so happy 2 receive his rep
anyway...
then he replied saying
MELVIN: yes how may i help u?
n i cudnt stop smiling at his sarcasm... i said
MARS: how r u?
n he said
MELVIN: fine..
then i prayed n prayed n prayed
n i asked
MARS: cnt v talk??
he said
MELVIN: about?
n i said..
MARS:anythin... wat r u doin??
he said...
MELVIN: im at home..
smiling at the msg i said...
MARS: rite... no i mean wat r u doin now...in life?
n he said...
MELVIN: continuing my studies...
sumhow i didnt wanna ask any ques.. so i said
MARS: oic.

then i wen n took my royal shower..
wasnt thinkin bout wat happened..
didnt wanna think bout it either...
wasnt thinkin of wat 2 do next...
all i jus did was...
enjoy tat showerin session tat afte so long i felt satisfied...
I JUST MSGED MELVIN!

wen i came out of the shower...
i dnt noe wat drove me 2 do tiz..
i send him a msg sayin...

MARS: r u asleep or do u jus dnt 1 2 talk 2 me??
MELVIN: i dnt wnt 2 hurt ur feelings anymore....as i already did.. dnt waste ur time.. find anotha guy..
MARS: i tried... but it jus doesnt work.... its not d same... i jus cnt fall 4 anothe ... i really love u... i even forced myself 2 hate u but it all changes wen i cu...
(ok i dnt noe wat else i said) (n i didnt pray tiz time..wat a mistake)
MELVIN: i really m sry.. i really wished we nvr met in the first place..
MARS:( cryin n cryin n cryin n cryin..) y do u say tat?? (sumhow i noe i shud hav asked d next ques but i did...i think it came out frm all the bitterness n sorrow tat was kept captive 4 so long... i asked) did i really ruin ur life??
MELVIN: Omg.. enough! its nt.. tht.. plz i dnt wish 2 continue tis conversation anymore.. jus crry on wit ur life !..bye

i throwed the pon to God noes where n i broked down like how i broked down wen we broke up last time... it was unimaginable.. it was sumthin i knew wud happen n at d same time it hurts 2 noe tat it happen...i knew very well tat he wud get angry... sumhow i jus wanted it 2 happen... it was then i realised wat i was prayin so hard 4 in between those sms-es... i was prayin 4 courage 2 accept wat he wud send me... n wen i didnt pray.. it was then tat i started 2 break down like crazy...

ya so anyway... 1 month later i coupled wit Andrew n m tryin 2 move... yesh... here is my confessions 2 u... sumthin i tot tat u shud noe frm d start n tat u shud noe 1st... but i failed 2 let u noe... n so i am deeply soswie... its not tat i tink u wud b mad.. i noe u wudnt n i noe tat u wud support me in wateva i do... jus tat i wanna write tiz in respect 2 our frenship...

yang sayang bang

well...
i tink its the moment where ive made my decision...
my head is straight n my thoughts r clear...
im not gona look back anymore..
yeah ppl come n go...
but i think he is here 2 stay..
perhaps i shud jus embrace him now..
i m falling 4 him...
n im falling head over heels 4 him...
i seriously didnt expect anythin frm this relationship...
but my oh my...
he makes me melt even with the smallest thing he does...
perhaps its bcoz ive known him 4 so long n i noe wat kinda person he is...
i mean...
he doesnt intend 2 do it jus 2 impress...
he does sincerely..
its jus me...
being 2 observant..
i notice all those changes in him...
he notices those changes in me 2....
n he loves it s muc s i love those changes in him...
it mite not have worked b4...
but now...
he is so eager 2 make it work..
he is so modest 2wards us...
v didnt couple at 1st bcoz him especially was so afraid tat it doesnt work again...
he was so afraid 2 hurt me again...
n s time went by...
v bcame similar 2 a couple...
everything was couple-ish...
except d fact tat v werent...
so v tot...
perhaps v shud jus stay tiz way...
no 1 knew bout us...
v nvr talk bout it 2 any1...
ok i dnt noe on his side la...
but i didnt tell any1...
sumhow..
along the line...
v bcame couples...
ok u noe wat...
wen he proposed 2 me...
i was blushing like toot....
i dnt noe y...
ya i noe its impossible 2 c n indian blush...
but i cudnt help it...
i was smiling x tentu pasal...
n i was speechless...
i ran out of words...
all i cud say is...
stop making me blush!
i 4got how 2 say yesh...
1 4got how 2 say no...
i didnt even noe wat 2 say 4 tat matter..
yup...
pretty awkward 4 my character ain't it?
i wasnt thinkin...
perhaps i didnt wanna think anymore...
s i said yesh...
there was tiz side of me telling me 2 say no...
its not meant 2 b...
jus then i realised..
tat tat was d voice of my past...
the voice tat is hurt...
the voice tat nvr let me moved on..
tat kept me holdin back myself frm gettin hurt again..
jus about time...
my couragous present self...
the part of me tat ive been nurturing since i was hurt...
the part tat ive accumulated each day...
with courage n hope n boldness...
the part tat i tot wud soon conquer tat hurt part of me sumhow soon...
tat part told me...
hey..
its time 2 move on...
n here's an open door...

s i entered tat door...
i kept tat door open...
i didnt close it..
jus so i change my mind...
or things doesnt work out again..
but now im writing tiz...
jus 2 let evry1 noe...
jus 2 let myself noe...
tat ive closed tat door...
coz baby...
just like u..
im here 2 stay 2...
i love u...
n im ready 2 4get the past n move on...
i dnt care wat happens 2 us in the future...
i dnt care wat happens 2mrw...
i dnt even 1 2 think about it...
wat happens...
let it be...
i jus wanna embrace the present...
coz u make me happy in a way tat oni i feel it...
u make me sad n its gone everytime u talk 2 me...
bcoz its jus me...
i get hurt easily...
perhaps tat wat i love...
u noe my weakness..
n u nvr cease to protect tat...
our relationship is not perfect...
no relationship can eva b...
but sumhow...
u make those flaws in our relationship like flowers...
i m happy 4 d way v r just like u r...
u love evry flaw bout me...
4 u...
they arent flaws..
they r perfection...
yang...
i may not b able 2 express myself tat muc...
my heart mite not b completely urs yet...
but bang...
bagi la aku masa...
aku baru dah nak sampai ke permukaan dugaanku
yang sebelum ini aku hampir mati tenggelam..
baby...
i jus wanna say tat...
u may not b the guy ive always dreamt of...
but i love u 4 d man u r 2day...
4 every small thing bout u...
4 every big thing bout u...
im happy i said yesh.

wen the one u love aint the one in ur arms

it hurts 2 noe tat u trying 2 love some1...
tat ur playing wit love jus so u dnt love tat special sum1.
wat solution is there 4 me...
whose heart is 4 some1 else
but is in a relationship wit some1 else..
the reason i got into tiz relationship was bcause i saw tat
d person has change n things r much better 4 both of us now than it was
the last time we were 2gather...
however... our relationship now is like
i love u
u love me
but we dnt talk on the phone 4 hours
v dnt msg each other during d day.
v dnt buy stuff 4 each other...
or do those lovey dovey stuff ppl do...
sumhow tats d way we like it 2 be...
coz he is working n is very buzy n is not ready 2 be committed
me on the other hand...
doesnt 1 him 2 b committed...
mayb bcoz i dnt wish 2 be committed either...
wat he doesnt noe is tat...
my heart is not completely his...
im jus so sure tat both of us wud nvr work out...
he is jus not 4 me...
he is definately not d kind of guy i wud 1 2 spend my whole life with...
perhaps in the future he wud change like how he change frm the past 2 now...
but im jus so sick of expecting n hoping...
perhaps im at a stage where i dnt believe in love anymore...
omg!!!
im soo stuck here rite now!!

10 reasons y cats r dumb n dogs rock!

1. dogs cn b trained n r very intelligent animals. they can sense wat ur feeling n wud handle it very cleverly... cats however.. hav no sense wateva n they expect u 2 b their slave instead of u bein their master... dumb cats.
2. cats get possessed n dogs dont.. instead, dogs hav 6 sense n so there can c all these things in d spiritual realm... n tats why most of the time dogs bark... they bark wen they c these things... so b careful if a dog barks at u non stop... ahhahahhahahahhahahhahaah.
3. cats get these disease tat are like fungus on their skin n it is contagious 2 humans... dogs hav no such diseases.
4. cats beg 4 food... dogs get their own food.
   
5. cats attack humans n r more wild compared 2 dogs who r very gentle n tame tat they wudthreaten them or u attack them.. Malaysian's r very irrational wen they assume tat dogs r wild n tat they wud attack. 4 d record.. cats teeth r smaller n sharperdnt make them mad n they then 2 use a large force wen attacking u... at d end of the day... its ur fault 4 making d dog mad! not attack unless u thus it can penetrate easily in2 our skin. so r their nails... dogs however, have larger teeth n nails.. they r not very dangerous as long s u
6. cats hate water... dogs dont struggle wen u bath them.
7. cats cnt warn u wen a stranger enters ur house.. dogs wud bark till sum1 comes n they wud by any course protect d owner.
8. dogs show their concern wen they sense tat d owner is sad or sick or injured... cats jus stand n look.
9. dogs can sniff out stuff 4 u... cats? they wud oni sniff 4 food.
10. dogs can sense it u hav an ailment in ur body n they wud tell it 2 u... cats wudnt even noe anything...

p.s: dogs rock n they r better pets than dumb cats. yeah!

to the beefs next door...

here's 1 4 u my new neighbours...

who moved in early tiz year...

perhaps u still think u guys r new here...

but seriously ppl...

ENOUGH WITH THE HOUSE WARMING DECO ALL READY!!!

wen i was excited tat i was gonna hav new neighbour next door!!

i didnt expect u guys 2 b so INDIAN!!! (please pause for a beef moment)

i mean seriously!!!

my neighbours r so beefy.... ive not spoken 2 them since they arrived..

i noe in bein all disrespectful or unfriendly or impollite or wateva u think i m bein...

but how do expect me 2 even look at them wen d moment i step out of my house door...

i m over-flushed wit ur tremendous beefness (please pause for a beef moment)

its like d frnt of their house is like decorated wit indian leaves (please pause for a beef moment),

n they hung a really BIG garland made frm indian flowers (please pause for a beef moment)

tat spells the word 'WELCOME' (please pause for a beef moment)..

oh gosh!!!

tiz tortures me!! m i really d only 1??

im jus so sorry...

ive not been exposed 2 so much of beefness b4... (please pause for a beef moment)

tis is like beef moment level 9!!

i noe u think tat im d most snobbish 1 here in my fly...

but i jus cnt even bear 2 look at u ppl...

seriously... i wud talk 2 u guys if v ever met anywhere else than ur hse...

u noe wat..

just recently.. wen my mum finally got a chance 2 speak wit d wife...

my mum told me tat the man is married 2 and indian woman frm INDIA!! (please pause for a beef moment)

OMG!!! how beef cn tiz get??

n d most beefest thing is tat... u dnt really noe who r d 1s living in tat house...

i dnt noe y.. but indians like 2 live wit d whole extended fly in 1 house.. (please pause for a beef moment)

not oni tat... everytime there wud b ppl entering n leaving d house like water...

so far i think there is a grandfather, grandmother, man, wife, daughter, n God noes who else lives there...

however... d funniest thing is tat... the man looks alot like Puny punye father...

haiz...

looks like i wud just hav 2 tolerate such extreme beefology...

n s a gud neighbour... i wud like 2 wish u guys...

a warm welcome...

WELCOME BEEFS!!!

when love is all that matters

i wonder...

how it was like to u tat day...

did u c tru me?

wat did u feel...

i wonder...

which was d lie...

u? or

was it wat i tot??

perhaps my mistake was...

trust, hope n love.

urs?

all fingers on my face.

did it change abit?

or was it jus a fool's tale 2 u?

i wonder...

who is it tat is living d lie..

i wonder...

wat is on ur mind?

do u really let ur half suffer 4 wat those mindless ppl say?

perhaps...

but hav they seen me?

do they noe me?

or hav u lost all courage tat u urself gav me every moment?

i wonder...

wat u c wen u c an aeroplane..

y u do d things u do..

perhaps u 1ted freedom...

perhaps u didnt find it...

coz u noe tat u will nvr get it unless...

u b true 2 urself..

i wonder..

will it ever b d same if there was us..

put urself into my shoes n c tat im a size 8...

n i c tat u ve got those new shoes..

perhaps u did change..

if i put myself i2 ur shoes..

everythin wud b strangers 2 me..

i wonder...

is it d sky tat u 1 2 reach?

tat u dnt seem 2 c d moon...

but if i wud do d same...

i oni c u in d skies...

but dnt blame me if u dnt get there.

i wonder...

was it love or lust?

was it affection or distraction...

perhaps..

jus an illusion of d mind.

or so i tot...

i wonder...

if v still watched d skies...

u wud hav saved 10 litre of tears..

perhaps...

i shud jus stop hoping..

coz tat was wat tat got me here...

i wonder...

if it was nvr meant 2 b...

then y did it b?

if u showed so muc...

where is it now?

perhaps..

it was nvr there..

i wonder...

if i was s strong..

wud d moon still shine s bright...

wud i need u s muc...

d more u avoid me?

perhaps...

i wud.

n now wen im buildin up courage..

u say thankx...

tell me u dnt feel wat i feel wen u look at me...

coz i noe u do...

i c it n so do u c it in me...

perhaps...

sumtimes u jus cnt hide things....

coz tat lips wud not smile 4 another...

i love u s muc s u hate me...

n wen i do...

no1 can change tat...

i love u more n more...

d more u say no...

i may fall 4 another...

but my heart wud still b urs.

i wud look at another...

but my eyes wud oni c u.

it is ur face i c on every1..

it is ur voice i hear in my dreams...

it is ur smile tat i long 2 c...

it is ur hand tat i 1 2 hold...

it is ur love tat completes me.

yet all i 1 is tat u find happiness...

tat d Almighty wud grant u love, peace n joy all ur days.

tat no1 else sees d sorrow in me...

but strife 2 put a smile on ur face..

n i wish u d skies 4 ur dreams...

n tat all may go well wit u.

most of all...

i wish u love.