adinda ingin memohon ampun dan maaf sebelum adinda meneruskan confession ini adinda tidak sesekali pun teringin untuk melukai kakanda atau persahabat yang akrab ini janganlah kakanda beranggapan dan menyoal kesetiaan adinda terhadap kakanda ingin sekali adinda berdampingan dengan kakanda dan ber-u noe wat bersama-sama walau bagaimanpun, keadaan tidak mengizinkan adinda ber-u noe wat panjang-panjang di telefon mahupun isyarat api dengan ini... adinda ingin ber-confess segala-galanya yang telah adinda lakukan dan yang harus kakanda mengetahui terlebih dahulu.
Ash u noe wat.... im not single anymore... im with a guy name Andrew who is also my x in the previous age... yesh... my decisions may not be the rite one.. but sumhow... im falling 4 him.. 2 noe wat he was like b4... n 2 noe wat he is like now is seriously amazing... he has change alot... n definately he has won my heart... its not tat he is so great or sumthin.. its jus tat i love bein around tiz new Andrew... its jus tiz sumthin bout him tat was hidden frm me b4 n now has unleashed itself... n i dnt wanna mish anythin of him... im sorry ive nvr told u anythin bout it... i m sincerely sorry... i noe i shud hav... but i was in d state where i didnt noe wat was goin on wit me... even if i did... i didnt noe how 2 put it into words.... s 4 gud old Melvin.. hmm.. lets jus say he wud remain s my best boyfren eva... n tat our relationship was my living fairy-tale... perhaps it sounds crazy tat i hav feelings 4 2 ppl... but the thing is... i wanna move on... i dnt 1 2 swim n wallow in my past any longer... 4 all u noe.... i dnt love Melvin anymore... i jus think i do... but wateva it is... there has been alot tat happened regarding Melvin tat i nvr told u... well actually i dint but everytime i called 2 tell u.. it jus wasnt a rite time 2 talk... so i tot perhaps i wud tell her sum other time... anyway... one of those inccidents r....
it was on 18th March...
i sumhow got possesed or sumthin...
i jus wanted 2 msg Melvin...
so i got the num frm Jeff...
Jeff got his num bcoz lately
Melvin has been talking 2 my guy frens lately
it seems weird coz since v broke up...
he avoided me all of them...
jus occasionally he wud talk 2 them la..
tat 1 aso he wud try 2 make it short...
anyway...
back 2 wat happened...
ok...
at tat time...
i was jus so i dnt noe...
i noe it wasnt d rite thing 2 do but i wanted 2 do it so badly...
i even made Jeff tell me 2 do jus so i feel bold 2 do it..
i knew wat mite happen...
i knew where it wud end...
but i jus wanted 2 do it so badly tat i cud die if i didnt..
it was like tat time wen i wanted 2 send him d email...remember?
ya so...
i took his num..
i didnt save it tho..
i jus wrote it on 1 of d past years spm papers... very significant huh?
ahahhahahahahahha
anyway...
ok u noe wat...
at tiz time..
i was like praying n prayin n prayin...
i didnt really noe wat i was prayin 4 but i prayed...
ok i took a deep breathe n typed...
MARS: hey melvin...
n i prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed i dnt noe 4 wat again...
then i received a msg n b4 opening it...
i prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed...
i took a deep breathe... cudnt stop smiling...
i read it... he said...
MELVIN:Urm who is tis?
n i was soo freakin happy n i prayed n prayed again
n i said...
MARS: marion
n i prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed...
seriously i didnt noe wat i was prayin 4
i was jus so happy 2 receive his rep
anyway...
then he replied saying
MELVIN: yes how may i help u?
n i cudnt stop smiling at his sarcasm... i said
MARS: how r u?
n he said
MELVIN: fine..
then i prayed n prayed n prayed
n i asked
MARS: cnt v talk??
he said
MELVIN: about?
n i said..
MARS:anythin... wat r u doin??
he said...
MELVIN: im at home..
smiling at the msg i said...
MARS: rite... no i mean wat r u doin now...in life?
n he said...
MELVIN: continuing my studies...
sumhow i didnt wanna ask any ques.. so i said
MARS: oic.
then i wen n took my royal shower..
wasnt thinkin bout wat happened..
didnt wanna think bout it either...
wasnt thinkin of wat 2 do next...
all i jus did was...
enjoy tat showerin session tat afte so long i felt satisfied...
I JUST MSGED MELVIN!
wen i came out of the shower...
i dnt noe wat drove me 2 do tiz..
i send him a msg sayin...
MARS: r u asleep or do u jus dnt 1 2 talk 2 me??
MELVIN: i dnt wnt 2 hurt ur feelings anymore....as i already did.. dnt waste ur time.. find anotha guy..
MARS: i tried... but it jus doesnt work.... its not d same... i jus cnt fall 4 anothe ... i really love u... i even forced myself 2 hate u but it all changes wen i cu...
(ok i dnt noe wat else i said) (n i didnt pray tiz time..wat a mistake)
MELVIN: i really m sry.. i really wished we nvr met in the first place..
MARS:( cryin n cryin n cryin n cryin..) y do u say tat?? (sumhow i noe i shud hav asked d next ques but i did...i think it came out frm all the bitterness n sorrow tat was kept captive 4 so long... i asked) did i really ruin ur life??
MELVIN: Omg.. enough! its nt.. tht.. plz i dnt wish 2 continue tis conversation anymore.. jus crry on wit ur life !..bye
i throwed the pon to God noes where n i broked down like how i broked down wen we broke up last time... it was unimaginable.. it was sumthin i knew wud happen n at d same time it hurts 2 noe tat it happen...i knew very well tat he wud get angry... sumhow i jus wanted it 2 happen... it was then i realised wat i was prayin so hard 4 in between those sms-es... i was prayin 4 courage 2 accept wat he wud send me... n wen i didnt pray.. it was then tat i started 2 break down like crazy...
ya so anyway... 1 month later i coupled wit Andrew n m tryin 2 move... yesh... here is my confessions 2 u... sumthin i tot tat u shud noe frm d start n tat u shud noe 1st... but i failed 2 let u noe... n so i am deeply soswie... its not tat i tink u wud b mad.. i noe u wudnt n i noe tat u wud support me in wateva i do... jus tat i wanna write tiz in respect 2 our frenship...
it was on 18th March...
i sumhow got possesed or sumthin...
i jus wanted 2 msg Melvin...
so i got the num frm Jeff...
Jeff got his num bcoz lately
Melvin has been talking 2 my guy frens lately
it seems weird coz since v broke up...
he avoided me all of them...
jus occasionally he wud talk 2 them la..
tat 1 aso he wud try 2 make it short...
anyway...
back 2 wat happened...
ok...
at tat time...
i was jus so i dnt noe...
i noe it wasnt d rite thing 2 do but i wanted 2 do it so badly...
i even made Jeff tell me 2 do jus so i feel bold 2 do it..
i knew wat mite happen...
i knew where it wud end...
but i jus wanted 2 do it so badly tat i cud die if i didnt..
it was like tat time wen i wanted 2 send him d email...remember?
ya so...
i took his num..
i didnt save it tho..
i jus wrote it on 1 of d past years spm papers... very significant huh?
ahahhahahahahahha
anyway...
ok u noe wat...
at tiz time..
i was like praying n prayin n prayin...
i didnt really noe wat i was prayin 4 but i prayed...
ok i took a deep breathe n typed...
MARS: hey melvin...
n i prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed i dnt noe 4 wat again...
then i received a msg n b4 opening it...
i prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed...
i took a deep breathe... cudnt stop smiling...
i read it... he said...
MELVIN:Urm who is tis?
n i was soo freakin happy n i prayed n prayed again
n i said...
MARS: marion
n i prayed n prayed n prayed n prayed...
seriously i didnt noe wat i was prayin 4
i was jus so happy 2 receive his rep
anyway...
then he replied saying
MELVIN: yes how may i help u?
n i cudnt stop smiling at his sarcasm... i said
MARS: how r u?
n he said
MELVIN: fine..
then i prayed n prayed n prayed
n i asked
MARS: cnt v talk??
he said
MELVIN: about?
n i said..
MARS:anythin... wat r u doin??
he said...
MELVIN: im at home..
smiling at the msg i said...
MARS: rite... no i mean wat r u doin now...in life?
n he said...
MELVIN: continuing my studies...
sumhow i didnt wanna ask any ques.. so i said
MARS: oic.
then i wen n took my royal shower..
wasnt thinkin bout wat happened..
didnt wanna think bout it either...
wasnt thinkin of wat 2 do next...
all i jus did was...
enjoy tat showerin session tat afte so long i felt satisfied...
I JUST MSGED MELVIN!
wen i came out of the shower...
i dnt noe wat drove me 2 do tiz..
i send him a msg sayin...
MARS: r u asleep or do u jus dnt 1 2 talk 2 me??
MELVIN: i dnt wnt 2 hurt ur feelings anymore....as i already did.. dnt waste ur time.. find anotha guy..
MARS: i tried... but it jus doesnt work.... its not d same... i jus cnt fall 4 anothe ... i really love u... i even forced myself 2 hate u but it all changes wen i cu...
(ok i dnt noe wat else i said) (n i didnt pray tiz time..wat a mistake)
MELVIN: i really m sry.. i really wished we nvr met in the first place..
MARS:( cryin n cryin n cryin n cryin..) y do u say tat?? (sumhow i noe i shud hav asked d next ques but i did...i think it came out frm all the bitterness n sorrow tat was kept captive 4 so long... i asked) did i really ruin ur life??
MELVIN: Omg.. enough! its nt.. tht.. plz i dnt wish 2 continue tis conversation anymore.. jus crry on wit ur life !..bye
i throwed the pon to God noes where n i broked down like how i broked down wen we broke up last time... it was unimaginable.. it was sumthin i knew wud happen n at d same time it hurts 2 noe tat it happen...i knew very well tat he wud get angry... sumhow i jus wanted it 2 happen... it was then i realised wat i was prayin so hard 4 in between those sms-es... i was prayin 4 courage 2 accept wat he wud send me... n wen i didnt pray.. it was then tat i started 2 break down like crazy...
ya so anyway... 1 month later i coupled wit Andrew n m tryin 2 move... yesh... here is my confessions 2 u... sumthin i tot tat u shud noe frm d start n tat u shud noe 1st... but i failed 2 let u noe... n so i am deeply soswie... its not tat i tink u wud b mad.. i noe u wudnt n i noe tat u wud support me in wateva i do... jus tat i wanna write tiz in respect 2 our frenship...
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